How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
