Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
