Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
