I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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