i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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