I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I smell like Dick and happiness
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
