So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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