dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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