just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
