I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
