Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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