I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
