the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize