i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
