I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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