I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
