chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
