He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
