benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
