gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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