good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i barfeds in our rink
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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