he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
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