Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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