I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We need to get me chipped asap
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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