normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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