She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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