dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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