you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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