i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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