as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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