Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
