You can't motorboat a personality
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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