remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
