yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize