aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
