bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
