cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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