it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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