I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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