last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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