So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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