But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
