i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
