No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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