Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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