Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
