forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
