im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
