Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
