I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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