We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
