You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
