He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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