It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
