Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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