After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
