Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
