Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I want you more than these girls want KFC
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
bring money and cleavage
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
