I think I won the penis lottery.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
