whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
