Already got asked if we're dating
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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