people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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