What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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