My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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