Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
