shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
